- When a girl wears her purse strap from one shoulder across her chest to the opposite hip. The impression between the “lumps” is very tantalizing! I am not sure if this is just me or not?
- Girls in sports jerseys of any kind. Some girls pull this off better of course but in general gals in sports jerseys are hot. I suppose its because they are into sports enough to buy a jersey in the first place but some of the fem jerseys are cut different and show the ladies physique very nicely.
- Women with long black boots. These things blow my mind?????
- Girls in hats, preferably red or sports teams that honk for my favorite team. And if there are pony tails coming out the back its even more attractive. I believe this is from the elementary days when boys start to learn about girls and tug on the tails? Not sure but hats on girls are cute and often times sexy.
- Girls that run outside. Ok obviously this means they are usually in good shape which is a good start, but they also run in sports bras which is hot and they are sweating which is hotter and they are bouncing with each step well you know its like hot on top of hot on top of kablooeee.
- In the summer a nice summer dress, or any dress that is strapless. I think the chance that some mishap could unexpectedly pull the top down is why most guys love strapless shirts/dresses.
- A woman in glasses, now not the coke bottle type that are 6 inches thick. The cute black framed type, it reminds all fellas of hot teacher or the bad librarian I suppose. But it can be pulled off in lots of settings. I think it has the most appeal these days because guys know she could have used contacts or had lasik done but she chose to wear them, so she doesn’t care if people know shes not perfect.
- Cute flowers or bows in hair. I think I like pretty things in girls hair because it reminds me that girls care more about everything and hair is one of those things. They already wash/shampoo/condition/color/straighten/curl and loads more things I don’t even know about but they aren’t satisfied with just that they top it all off with a cute bow or pretty flower.
- A girl that can laugh at stupid things, it is even hotter when she can laugh at herself or something silly she did or said. A girl that is constantly smiling/laughing is relaxing and makes fellas feel at ease.
Ok did I miss anything obvious?
“So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself.”
I hate golf. I mean I suppose everything that you hate you must love in some way, same as if you love something you can hate it at times. That’s all the philosophy I am getting into tonight.
As I was saying I hate golf, it’s the simplest game there is as far as objective goes. Get the ball into the hole in as few shots as possible. The ball is stationary the hole is in a preset spot, you would think it would be easy. There is a long standing argument amongst baseball players and golfers about what is tougher, hitting a baseball or a golf ball. I think it depends on what you are talking about. Hitting a baseball isn’t that tough, hitting a 90 mph baseball squarely is very tough. Hitting a baseball when you don’t know what is coming curve/fastball/slider/change that is very very tough. Hitting a golf ball is also not that tough, granted brand new players swing and miss a lot but I am talking about someone who puts a little time and effort into it. But scoring well on a difficult course is quite a challenge. You are at the mercy of the conditions, and if you have played in wind you know that is a very big task. I doubt the argument will ever be settled but for me the hardest part of golf is the fact that so much changes from day to day, even hole to hole or swing to swing. Ask any golfer and he will tell you golf teaches humility quickly. You can hit a bomb drive right down the middle, smooth an iron onto the middle of the green and roll a two putt for par and that is when the game seems so easy. The very next hole you yank or snap hook a drive out of bounds or into water or into a group of trees, and you now have to either rehit which costs you two shots, or go find your ball if you can and chip out, you then shank/slice your iron 40 yards right of the green then you chip into the sandtrap, take two to get out and fly the green, chilli dip a wedge then get on, 3 putt or worse and you just put up what golfers call “the dreaded other.” That means there is no name for your score, its not a bogey, double triple or quad, its so many over its “other” and it is not fun, plus the entire time you are struggling your doubting your entire game. You feel like your swinging playing exactly like you just did but now its not working, everything you do is wrong. The game of golf tests you mentally as much as it does physically, you can learn a lot about a person from a couple rounds of golf.
Golf is addictive though. Probably more so than any other hobby or sport. Hit one or two nice shots and it feels so great you think, I can do this, and you want to see how often you can do it. That’s when you start to care and practice. I hate golf and I can not wait to play another round and see how close I can come to greatness.
I am still bigger and better!
I wrote this poem for a friend to prove that Ernest Hemingway was better than Edgar Allan Poe I think I proved my point.
Eddie was a drunkard who loved Annabel Lee
Ernie was a manly man that fought bulls for no fee
Poe couldn’t graduate Westpoint, they even let Custer succeed
Hemingway won Nobel prize for the old man and the sea
Sure everyone knows “quoth the raven nevermore”
But “Isn’t it pretty to think so?” settles the score
Ed Al Poes father took off for who knows where
Ernie Hemis papa ate a bullet drama with a flair
Ernest versus Edgar there can be no doubt
While both are terrific and sought out
Eddie gets extra credit for the first detective story
Ernie penned the greatest prose there is no worry
Ernest lead the Lost Generation in Paris with no rest
And Edgar married his 13 year old cousin ewwww incest
I hope you’re all by yourself for a century
You’re gonna miss me when it turns wintery
You better believe that I’m bitter
You may be relieved I’ve never been fitter
Its not so much that I miss your voice
Its more that I didn’t get the choice
I wont feel wrecked visiting the places
We explored together and scanned faces
You told her I was a fucking disgrace
Maybe so but I’m wiser, I can retrace
Our history, where you lead me astray
Now I know your fear, why you went away
I may not be perfect but I’m foolishly loyal
The saddest regret was my love went spoiled
Its ok you really weren’t anything special
I’ll find someone silly who also likes to nestle